Well, I sure hope I feel better tomorrow than I did today. I ended up taking DD to the doctor because she's been real goopy around the eyes the last few days (doctor's not too worried, but her ears were starting to get infected). Then we ran a bunch of errands- some related to the race, some not. All tiring.
This reminded me of the days when I was really struggling with the effects of the systemic yeast infection, and everything was exhausting. I formed habits that I'm still trying to break 5 years later, like parking as close to the store as possible, not going to some stores on my list because I've already used up my energy reserves, and debating how badly things really need to be done today- can they wait for later? This in turn reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a few months ago. We were talking about my upcoming visit to see my husband, and she said I should hook up with so-and-so, who would also be there visiting her husband. I said I'd see, and she made a comment about me being neutral. This got me thinking: Am I really neutral about things? As I thought about it, I decided I'm not neutral so much as noncommittal. This also goes back to my low energy days, where I got in the habit of not committing to anything ahead of time. My life was so one-day-at-time then: one day I might have energy to go to the store, the next I might barely have energy to get out of bed and make dinner, forget going out and doing anything with anybody. I'm trying to get better about this, but I still struggle with it. I think I was doing better until I got pregnant. It was not a great pregnancy and it took quite awhile to recover and get my energy levels back up, which set me back a lot. Right about when I was starting to do better, I had my second miscarriage, and the accompanying depression really took it out of me and set me back big time. It's only been in the last couple months (since I started taking Juice Plus+) that I've started to have more energy and really feel like I can function like a normal person again. Hence all the goals that involve me exercising and getting in shape. There are of course still days where I don't have the energy I would like, but overall I am making a lot of progress, which is really encouraging when I remember that I've been dealing with this for going on 9 years now.
Ok, enough introspection for now. I am going to go to bed early and get lots of rest and have a great time at the triathlon, even if I come in dead last!
No comments:
Post a Comment