Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My grandpa passed away

My grandfather died this morning. He's been fighting lymphoma for about a year and a half, and today he decided he was done. We had already planned on driving to see him (dad had the day off work), so we still went to see him and my grandmother. It's kind of weird seeing dead people, especially those you know. There's something about how still they are. He's been so sick that he didn't look like my mental picture of my grandfather, though my grandmother still looks the same to me. At least he's not suffering anymore, and he died before any really nasty infections could set in.

My dad's youngest sister has lived close to my grandparents for the last 15-odd years, so they carried the brunt of the worry and care. None of the other siblings live close (my dad is the next closest). My aunt and her family will make sure grandma is taken care of, and that she doesn't make any major decisions for at least a year (I've heard that before- after the death of a spouse, you shouldn't make any major decisions for a year, to make sure you're ok emotionally and not making decisions you'll later regret).

I think today was the first time I've seen my dad cry.

We've never been particularly close to most of our relatives, mostly because we lived so far away when we were younger. My mom's parents died when I was in high school. She was the only one to go to the funerals, since we lived too far away to drive and it was too expensive to fly.

Things like this do make you consider your relationships. What could I have done differently? Could I have written/called/visited more? Did I take them for granted? Do I want my children to be closer to their grandparents than I was, and if so, what can I do to make sure that happens? (especially if we move out of state) I guess that's why I make an effort to make sure Little Miss Sunshine spends time with both sets of grandparents and all her aunts and uncles and cousins. I want her to know her relatives better than I know mine.

1 comment:

  1. Jen--I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I remember when my grandmother died, it was such a mix of emotions--sad that she wasn't around anymore, happy that it was over for her. I'm thinking about you!