Sunday, September 7, 2008

Coping with separation

I've gotta stop reading books. I get too involved,and end up getting nothing done. I've done way too much reading this week, and have stayed up late almost every night, so now I'm tired from not getting enough sleep, and am more interested in my books than in doing things like going for walks or bike rides or sewing or organizing my stuff in storage (all things I needed to be doing this week). However, I hate not having a book to read before going to sleep at night. Of course, there's then the problem of stopping and shutting the book and going to sleep.

I think it's harder to find a happy medium with my Army Guy gone. I don't have a husband joining me in bed, so it's easy to lose track of time and get caught up in what I'm reading. One of my coping mechanisms, I guess. Lately I've been thinking about how I've been coping with him being gone. I haven't been doing too bad, but I think there's several reasons for that.

1. The six months we were separated when he was in training were a pretty rough time for me. I miscarried a few weeks after he left, and while he was able to come back for a week on emergency leave, he had to leave again way too soon. I was by myself, dealing with the physical and emotional issues that go along with a miscarriage and don't just disappear on their own. It sucked. So I figure there's not much that could be worse than that experience. True, this deployment is longer, but we do have R&R part way through, and we'll be heading to Hawaii for a couple weeks.

2. I have Little Miss Sunshine to keep me busy. She is such a sweetheart, and a true blessing in our lives.

3. The 'fuzzy brain' that accompanies my systemic yeast infection is actually a blessing right now. It keeps me from thinking as clearly as I would like, and it takes a bit of effort to focus on certain things, like a certain someone being gone. My mind tends to wander quite easily, unfortunately, which can be a real problem sometimes.

4. Living with my parents takes some of the daily stresses off of me- I don't have to deal with home maintenance. I can leave LMS at home with my mom if I need to (though I try to keep it to a minimum, and not abuse it), just having the option is a big relief. I don't have to cook dinner every single night. I really hate cooking every single night, and it's so nice not to have to right now.

5. We're able to chat or talk frequently. We're not able to talk every day, but it's still good to be in contact as frequently as we are. The webcam is a big help- we actually get to see each other, not just talk or IM. At least we're not in any other war, where it could be months or years before you hear from each other, and it was only by letter. We are really blessed to have the technology we have now.

6. Working on accomplishing goals and finishing projects is keeping my spare minutes busy, so I have less time to sit and think too much. Too much time on my hands is not a good thing.

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